emotional weight blog image


OK let me say right away this isn’t about what size you are or trying to make you feel you need to be slimmer. Gawd! There’s enough of that pressure on women around already. No this is about understanding why as Empaths our bodies can behave so strangely and how to let go of emotional weight that is affecting you in more important ways than the number on your clothing label!

We sensitives, intuitives and empaths have a tendency to carry emotional weight. Maybe it acts as a buffer against the energy of other people and places, maybe it’s because we comfort eat to ground ourselves again after getting overstimulated by said energies or perhaps there is an accumulation of energy in our bodies that isn’t ours.

Maybe it’s all of those things.

Can you relate? Does this ring true for you?



OK so how about this one….

Have you ever noticed how you gain weight as soon as you enter a new romantic relationship?

I know I do. Some people say to you: “Oh it’s because you are comfortable now”, I hear that as “I see you’ve let yourself go now someone loves you unconditionally and you don’t have to try so hard” 🙂

What’s really happening, for me anyway, and you can tell me if it’s the same for you, is that I gain weight (not on purpose) to maintain a psychic boundary between me and my lover and so I don’t have to feel all his stuff all the time. As an Empath I tend to merge with my partner when I don’t intend to (i.e. outside the bedroom) and therefore lose all sense of myself. This sounds great in theory, very Wuthering Heights, total abandon, surrender, blending of chakras and lots of other romantic, spiritual things  but the truth is I start to get exhausted, I start to get ill.




It is important for our health as Empaths that we maintain healthy boundaries and if all else fails our body will step in to help us.

Water is the element of emotions, it follows emotions and is how memory is stored in the body so no wonder we bloat up with fluid retention after being around someone venting emotionally all over us or offloading into our happy space. It can also build up if we don’t feel we are in a safe place to express our emotions. When emotions build up in the energy body of a sensitive person it can show up as extra weight.




So what are we to do?

The standard medical advice is eat less and exercise more. But if you’re like me you’ve tried everything, you eat really healthily and exercise and the weight doesn’t shift, until there is some other intervention that goes deeper than calorie-burning.  Loving ourselves as we are and learning to self-soothe and unconditionally accept ourselves and love our bodies as they are is essential.

Let me just say that this is far more complex than I can cover in a quick blog post. Sometimes we are sensitive and Empathic due to childhood trauma, sometimes it’s our gift and just how we are. And as far as eating disorders go I am not qualified to advise you there so do explore professional guidance if you think you have an eating disorder.

So what energy tools might help you if you know there is emotional weight you’d like to let go of, even if you do love and embrace your curvy luscious body?





You can imagine a solid golden energy egg around you as your ‘safe space’. Make it any size or thickness that feels best for you as you imagine it. Add symbols, words or images that represent strength and protection. If you can’t visualise images in your mind (not everyone can) don’t worry. Get a photo of yourself and glue it in the middle of a sheet of paper. Then grab some pens or coloured pencils and draw your golden egg around you. This is a great thing to do with children too by the way, to introduce them to energy boundaries. You can also ask your guardian angel to wrap their wings right around you and your egg and invite in all your guides and loved ones in spirit to help provide a warm, nourishing and protective blanket of love around you.

The above are energy boundaries but of course there are verbal ones too. This is where you learn to say NO to anything that doesn’t feel right for you. To say NO to other people’s demands on your time and energy and to start saying YES to you!




Clean, clean, clean your energy. Every day. As an Empath or Sensitive it’d be great if ‘Energy Hygiene’ (a term I coined many years ago) became a new habit for you, just like washing your hands. As Empaths we are more ‘spongey’ than other people. An awareness of energy, what others are thinking and feeling and a sensitivity to all of life is our gift to the world but it means we need to take care of ourselves differently.

Aura Shower – Imagine light from Source rinsing over you like a shower, let it run through you like a super strong power shower!
Earth Bathing – Breathe energy up from the earth like a gushing upward waterfall to cleanse your energy.
Rainbow Shower – When having an actual shower simply imagine or intend rainbow coloured light running in the water. I believe you can even get showers with colour-changing lights in them now so why not go for the real thing!
Smudge – Get a smudgestick or sage bundle or incense stick and waft the smoke around you and around your home, office or car to clean the energy in the space.
Breathe – Deep breaths are an ideal and simple way to keep your energy clean and clear.
Cord Clearing – Ask Archangel Michael to help you clear cords between you and anyone in your life, past, present, future and other dimensions that are not for your highest good.




Having a regular good cry really makes a difference to our well-being. Letting it out. Feeling what’s there. Breathing it out, crying it out, dancing it out, punching pillows and having one of Oprah’s good ole fashioned ‘ugly crys’ can work wonders. As Empaths we care so much about other people’s feelings that sometimes we put on a brave face and hold those feelings down so we don’t trouble others. Time to look after YOU my lovely and find somewhere you can let that stuff out.

Sometimes a glass of wine and a soppy film can do it, sometimes it’s just a regular moment in your day or something someone says that triggers a release. Go with it. Let it flow. You can even try writing messily and quickly all you want to say to someone who has hurt you, passed away or caused you pain. Write but don’t read it, it doesn’t have to make sense, just scrawl, feel, breathe, cry and then burn it!

It is safe to feel. Feeling isn’t failing. Feelings are healing in progress. Let them flow. Breathe.




I’m sure you’ve heard the old saying: “Holding onto resentment or unforgiveness is like holding onto a hot coal and expecting the other person to get burned” and various versions of it. It’s true. You forgive for your OWN healing. You forgive to let go of the hot coal. It doesn’t mean you are approving of the other person’s behaviour, not at all. You are letting go of the energy around it that you have held in your body and which will only cause YOU harm.

Just ask your God/Goddess/Source/Guides/Angels for help in forgiving the person in question. Ask for help in letting go. Then decide. Just decide. Choose. Set the intention: “I am now wholeheartedly forgiving……….”, “I am letting go of any pain and resentment I feel around………”.

Then use the ancient and powerful healing and forgiveness mantra from Hawaii called Ho’Oponopono (means ‘to make right’):

I’m sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
Thank you

Say it over and over with the person in mind. You are saying I’m sorry to engage your higher self and higher heart, the aspect of you that takes responsibility for all creations in your life at some level, even the painful ones.




Sharing how you feel (without any blame), expressing your truth, your power and your gifts allows you to let go, drop fully into yourself, into your body. Holding all of that suppressed truth can cause energetic weight gain for Empaths. Letting it out. Breathing out. Coming out of hiding, out of your own ‘Spiritual Closet’ can affect such a healing release. Hiding who you really are and how you really feel keeps you ungrounded and ‘out of body’, disconnected from your true self.

The overstimualtion of being sensitive can cause you to go out of body. This makes you even more ‘spongey’ like a vacuum for energies around you and the whole cycle begins again.

Inhabiting your own skin, fully being YOU literally fills you up with you. People use the expression “Being full of yourself” as a negative thing but for Empaths it is a truly positive thing and a key part of what I call ‘Selfhood’ (different to selfishness).




My favourite! Many of you who have been with me on this journey these past years know that I go on about Grounding alllll the time. It is because for we Empaths and Sensitives it is the best (after conscious breathing) self-care tool available to us. It’s free, it’s easy and luckily the Earth is beneath us all the time to connect in with.

As I hinted above, being in your own skin, being fully in your body allows everything in your system to calm down. The new science of ‘Eathing’ reveals that barefoot grounding for just 15 minutes a day can reverse many inflammation-based health conditions, ionises the body in a positive way (negative ions) all creating a healthy state in the blood and cells.

I’m a fan of physical, earth-based grounding. The intuitive/energy-based grounding is lovely too but tends to keep us in our upper Chakras and we want that energy to move downwards in order to release excess weight. Energetically, Grounding completes a circuit through your body between Earth and Source that allows your energy to flow and recycle between both polarities in a healthy way. One lovely side effect is release of excess emotional/energetic weight!

(Have you tried my Grounded and Calm meditation and my Grounding Guide audiobook?)




Do let me know if you are going to try these tools. Share your experiences below and let us know how you get on. It’s a lifestyle change and takes practice. Forming new healthy habits takes repetition, for at least 21 days.

If you have any other favorite energy tools that you have found help you release emotional and energetic weight please share them in the comments below. Thank you.

Lots of love,

kim signature copy


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