Celebrating My 1 Year Deathiversary

letting go of the old

 

Exactly one year ago today my life as I knew it fell to pieces…..again.

Major death/rebirths have been a feature of my life so far, they are unwanted companions who loom in dark corners threatening to destroy everything but swear to me they have my best interests at heart.

And so again they came and tore my life up from the roots.

My partner of almost ten years declared he wanted to end our relationship. I won’t go into the apparent ‘whys’ as that it his path and his stuff. I have different truths about what happened.

I was facing homelessness, wasn’t earning enough to sustain living alone and my health was failing. Those were very dark times indeed. I was in agony. All our dreams, intentions, friendship, my home, friends, community, routine, stability….my whole life as I knew it ended right there and then.

For the first time in my life I had allowed myself to need someone and truly trust someone. I had let down my defences and welcomed help and support that I believed I couldn’t do without. I opened up my heart and my life and let him in. I surrendered to the human connection and the tangled nature of living with someone.

And so this was more like a bereavement. Pieces of me were being ripped out. My entire reality was flipped on its head overnight and I was hurtling down a rabbit hole. I breathed. I cried. I prayed and meditated. I raged. I did my best to trust what was happening.

 

I humbled myself and reached out to everyone for help. I was desperate

 

For 2 months we continued to live together but apart, gradually disentangling, crying together and apart, talking, not talking. I no longer knew who he was or who I was. My personal planet had shifted off its axis.

In a blur I looked for somewhere to live not knowing if I could even pay for it. I couldn’t see straight, my heart raced, I felt sick, my body ached. I worked until 5am every morning desperately rebuilding my business website so I could maintain it myself after I left (my partner had built it and was my webmaster), I humbled myself and reached out to everyone for help. I was desperate.

That was when a miracle happened.

YOU!

 

I realised I was truly loved by my tribe and that you believed in me and what I was doing

 

From around the world came donation after donation to help me find somewhere to live and to allow me to continue my work. You know who you are, you angels who helped me. I love you and will never forget you. You allowed me to stay on track, avoid homelessness and to continue my purposeful work. It was at that moment that something shifted. I realised I was truly loved by my tribe and that you believed in me and what I was doing. You became investors of sorts, asking simply that I pay it forward and continue to shine and help other women do the same.

And so it seemed very timely yesterday when my accountants delivered to me the ‘birth’ certificate for my new film production company IMAGINAL PRODUCTIONS! Auspicious timing to say the least.

 

My ex is part of my soul group and I know that ending our relationship was part of the deal, it was how we would both best be served in our soul growth

 

I trust and can now truly FEEL that everything happened exactly as it was meant to. My ex is part of my soul group and I know that ending our relationship was part of the deal, it was how we would both best be served in our soul growth. In fact I had some sparks of soul-level awareness in the middle of the pain and chaos as it was happening, so despite the pain I knew it was meant to happen to allow me to stay on track with my soul’s evolution.

Skip to right now and this is a new beginning for me! My life is now leading me into the medium of film and new media to express my creativity, truths, tell my story and empower women. It’s an exciting time.

 

My old life and my old self was falling away because I was meant to be on a different path

 

Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a tough year. It’s been hell at times. I’ve been very unwell, had major financial pressures and even had times when I had no heating, food or money at all. But I got through it. How? Because I KNEW deep in my guts, bones and soul that the old was dying. My old life and my old self was falling away because I was meant to be on a different path.

I now FEEL more than ever before that I am following my true joy AND that I am doing this with you walking beside me.

I am paying forward all your kindnesses and love. I am paying forward all your support. I am paying forward all your trust and belief in me.

One year ago today I died and today feels like the first day of my new life. The year in between then and now was me simply recovering and learning to breathe again.

 

To REALLY allow new possibilities to flow in we must fully let go of the old

 

To REALLY allow new possibilities to flow in we must fully let go of the old. And so I do. I let go of all the dreams I held dear. I release the future I saw ahead of me and open to a new future of unlimited and beautiful possibilities.

I release those people who left my life all at once like a mass exodus and celebrate those who stayed. I welcome all the new, loving, awake, positive, courageous, fun, creative and beautiful souls entering my life right now.

No I have no idea what lay ahead of me and yes sometimes I feel uncertain and afraid. However, I KNOW this is exactly where I am meant to be and exactly what I am meant to be doing.

I am following my joy. I am embracing the uncertainty because the space of not knowing is what leaves room for magic.

As of today I am officially a filmmaker. A new life begins….

Watch out world!

 

 

Follow the progress of my first film ‘Luminal’ (a supernatural thriller based on my true story of awakening crisis) on Facebook and Twitter.

‘Celebrating My 1 Year Deathiversary’: http://bit.ly/1fV8hfu by Kimberley Jones /@SHIFTandSHINE #AWAKENINGWOMEN (click to tweet this!)

 

 

Remember, we share our stories to remind ourselves and each other that we are not alone.

We are awakening together.

Lots of love,

kim signature copy

 

 

 


PS: Image Credit – Adapted from artwork by Julia Rohwedder http://moonshine90.deviantart.com/

14 thoughts on “Celebrating My 1 Year Deathiversary”

  1. You never cease to amaze me Miss Kimberley! I’m so very proud of you and all you’ve accomplished this past year. I am honored to have shared this journey with you, and will continue to be there to share in everything to come. You have inspired and encouraged me in ways you will never know, and I’m so blessed that our journeys have crossed paths. Thank you so much for being so raw and relatable, and helping me learn to really value all the bumps in the road for the lessons and strength they leave us with. I wish you much love, many more blessings, and tons of success that is yet to come!
    Your friend across the pond, Precious Xo

  2. Dear Esther,
    Thank you so much for this and for your gifts and support.
    Much love to you my friend.

  3. Thank You Kimberley for this latest post! You truly are a wonderful, inspirational, beautiful woman. I loved this message, it is so sincere and from the heart, we have been with you every step of the way but YOU were the ONE who came through it all so beautifully. Well Done Sweetheart, You are so special. I resonate strongly with a lot of what you share. You are so very brave Kimberley. Thank You once again.
    Esther xxx

  4. Well done Kimberley…!
    I know how painful this must have been for you – been there…
    Can’t wait for Luminal…
    Love
    Lou
    x

  5. Wonderful Kimberley! Happy Deathiversary!! You have come so far – it is exciting to see. Wish you all the best moving forward <3

  6. You are paying it forward deliciously! So happy for the things you’ve planted in my life when I was going through the fire. 🙂 Love you, Carmen

  7. Hi Lynn,
    Thanks so much for your lovely message.
    Hanging on for the ride together! 🙂
    Lots of love,
    Kimberley ♥

  8. Once again, such an inspirational message! Your story is so similar to my own it hits me on many levels. Mostly it makes me smile. And feel very reassured that I’m on my path and I must just let go and hang on for the ride! Thanks Kimberley. Brightest blessings with your new project Luminal and Imaginal Productions.

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