Self-worth, relationships and finances

 

getting our needs met

 

Difficult life events can gradually erode our self-confidence and self-worth, especially if our roots were already a bit on the weak side to begin with due to a tough childhood.

The recent full moon and lunar eclipse as well as some personal healing I am doing have all brought up issues for me around self-worth. In particular I’ve been experiencing a lot of frustration and pain around never truly learning that it was OK to have my needs met, even in the most basic ways as a child.

This has rippled through and affected every relationship and every area of my life. I can see that now.

I am now looking more closely at how I can ensure I meet my own needs every day.

A lot of people groan and roll their eyes as soon as you start talking ‘psycho-babble’ about how limiting patterns started in childhood. I can understand that.

But consider this for a moment…..you cannot have juicy fruit, beautiful flowers, lush leaves and strong branches on a tree that has a weak or diseased root system.

 

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Having had my life turned upside down during the December 2012 ‘shift’ (more like sh!t) I have spent the last year moving through another ‘dark night of the soul’ and falling, surrendering and collapsing deeply into myself, my pain and my own shadows.

Why?

Well it hasn’t been because I wanted to I can assure you, it has been harrowing at times.

It has happened because my soul needed me to fall again, to see more deeply who I really am and how my life had led me away from my true self.

Why had I been led away from my true self?

Because of my weakened root system and unresolved need for love, validation and essential support. This fundamental missing piece had led me to take love wherever I could get it, even if my intuition had alarm bells going off about a person or situation.

I ignored the signs because I longed so deeply to be loved and to have the love I give out reciprocated.

 

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And so now my journey is about learning how to meet my own needs in the world and to again be my own source of love. My spiritual connection on that vertical axis (between heaven and earth) is very strong and I feel the mighty love of Source, however it is in my relationship with others and the world and with myself (the horizontal axis) that I am growing and expanding now.

I am looking more closely at my own weakened roots from an abusive childhood and noticing in new ways how it affects every area of my life and business. I am seeing how a deep sense of self-worth and an ability to self-source is essential for me to thrive. Part of my healing journey right now involves very deep but gentle trauma-release work.

I am also learning how to self nurture rather than be so critical of myself.

 

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We need healthy roots to be able to hold ourselves firm and grounded in the earth.

When our roots are strong we can draw down and drink deep from the light of Source above allowing it to pour down through us into the earth and expand out into the branches of our life. This is how we ‘Ground the Light’ of our true essence and purpose in the world.

In this space and flow of grounding we not only attract abundance to us, we also become a mighty conduit for it to flow naturally and freely through us…

….and at last we can enjoy the fruits of our own beautiful tree.

 

If you can relate to anything I’ve shared in the above post please do leave a comment below and share your experiences.

Thank you.

Lots of love,

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10 thoughts on “Self-worth, relationships and finances”

  1. Dear Kaye,
    What a process indeed! 🙂
    Thank you for sharing some of your story. That takes courage and is always helpful for others.
    Lots of love,
    Kimberley ♥

  2. ~ I’m A Recovering Under-Cover~Over-Lover ~
    ‘Out My Mind~Just In Time’ by Erykah Badu. ——- http://youtu.be/wYt70lFJQpA
    The Clarity of You Sharing Your Personal Experience is Refreshing, Inspiring, Reviving for the Hope That Some Good Can Come from All this crap and pain. Thank You…. <3
    …A Recovering 'Over-Lover'… Mostly On that HorizontaL Axis, Usually In the Giving Direction, So Accustomed to Giving Care and Support, for so long what I received in return was Needy Individuals seeking more Care and Support…. Learning without a doubt that I'm an Empath has brought Great Clarification: how Exhausting/No wonder I Always seem to Be…..
    2012 Psychic Awakening/Breakdown….. Psychologists/Counselor posing the Question…'Who Takes Care of Kaye..?' …The first time I can remember anyone ever asking… brought Me to tears but Also the need to Immediately get on my knees and Pray, Giving Thanks for the Sustaining Force of Source/God throughout my childhood in a single Mom household… later dealing with Mom's inability to Explain-Away her baby's experience, 2 weeks in the mental ward, She had to fly out and collect me — must have been drugs, alcohol, a demon, the devil…
    Truth is that I don't subscribe to any of these..still coming out of the "SpirituaL Closet" so to speak, finding ways to Express My~Self as a Lightworker… while answering the call to being part of My Mom's Pentecostal-Apostolic Christian Church…
    A Year and a HaLf later – Recognizing and Giving Thanks for those friends who did rally to support at the point of crisis, but feeling their absence in the subsequent months of recovery.. Guess it's true that people fall away when we Begin to Rise, or maybe even when we Sink Down/ need to Go within…
    Recognizing that they're All focused on Living their Lives, Doing their Own thing, and LooKinG out for 'Number 1'….And I Deserve/Need to Be too…. Realizing that Maybe taking the Best Care of My~Self: First, Is the Best way to Care for Others — as backward and counter-intuitive as that really seems…
    …WorKinG Hard 0n Being OK With/ Believing it's Possible To :Receive: as Unconditionally and as Purely as I Am Habitually Accustomed to Giving…
    Walking the Tightrope between Taking 100% Responsibility for Creating My Own Reality AND KICKinG My Own Ass/ Blaming Myself for Negative unwanted outcomes in my experiences, Or Ever Feeling like it's Ok to Express that something I'm going through Is 'negative' … Feeling I'm meant to conceal my shadow side from the world, I'm Not Allowed to be 'Not Okay'… Nobody wants to Hear it, or cares enough to sit and listen and give a crap about understanding anything that's not about them.
    Everything I put out into the world, or say to anyone, or post on the web, Has to Be Positive And Sunshine-ey.. even if that's not how I'm feeling… because that's what's expected of me, that's what I'm supposed to do..
    …:::Whew::: what a process, what a journey…::Sigh::…
    Sorry, didn't mean to write ya a book Kimberly, but maybe that something on the horizon too… : \

  3. Hi Gail,
    Thank you so much for stopping by and for your comments. Thank you also for sharing your own experience of how it feels to stay open to our own inner knowing, even when it doesn’t come right away. Trusting the process is key. Trusting ourselves is key. And trusting that we are loved, held and supported and that we are not alone. Golly, such important things that sustain us on this challenging and beautiful path.
    It’s lovely to connect with you Gail. Thank you.
    Lots of love,
    Kimberley ♥

  4. Hi Kimberly,
    I was very moved by your honesty and can relate to your experiences of doubt and then rebirth. I have those negative voices in my head wanting my attention all the time. I have had therapy in the past and it has helped me to function well, be “successful” and not feel like a failure. Now, when those voices rear their ugly heads I look to the silence within where that still, small voice lies. Sometimes, when things are particularly hard for my ego, it can take a while to find it, even days. But eventually I do find it and then find myself. When I find that part of me, I remember to trust, myself and the Universe/God, and the answers always come. it is an never-ending journey. I’m very glad to have found your site. Many blessings.

  5. Hi Mary,
    Sending you love and a hug as this new layer of self-awareness bubbles to the top for you. Yay for more self-worth and self-confidence, your voice needs to be heard.
    Lots of love,
    Kimberley ♥

  6. Hi Lila,
    I so admire your surrender to this process of just flowing with where you are led. Your couch surfing business sounds like the perfect expression of that courage and flow. I hope to see you in the UK this year. Keep in touch.
    Lots of love,
    Kimberley ♥

  7. Hi Debbie,
    Yes of course, there are many, many influences on our self-worth and it is a big area of healing and exploration, enough to fill several books no doubt. We each have our own unique particular experiences. I hope by sharing just a little of my journey it can help you on yours in some way. I send you much love and wish you well.
    Lots of love,
    Kimberley ♥

  8. Also abusive childhood. Major medical problems last couple of years. Feeling better physically now , but somehow not feeling worthy. No job. No energy. Need a change.

  9. Hi Kimberly,
    I so resonated with this. I have had the gift of being alone and feeling lonely for the past few years…what a better place to feel so isolated and discounted but in the tropics of Mexico. Now I’m in AZ waiting for my divorce to be finalized, it’s the same small town I prayed for years to move from, now it’s my only option and I believe I am here to remind myself how insignificant I allowed myself to be by choosing to stay married to a narcissist for 35 years.
    I am 55 now, I’m healthy and even with all the energies right now feeling emotionally strong. I still don’t feel like I belong anywhere but am OK with it now, I have faith that I am being led to something greater than I could even imagine. My dream of couch surfing across the UK is starting to become clearer and believe I could make a business of it. Hopefully we can connect in person this summer.
    Sending LOVE
    Lila

  10. So true Kimberley and I’ve never thought about it before in that way, I too have “weakened roots” I think, esp after reading this blog. Self worth has always been an issue. Self worth and self confidence. That would b a surprise to some I think…who see me as a person ton the quiet side. Id be a lot more vocal if my confidence and self worth was up to snuff….working on it…

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