When loved ones take your growth personally

growth

 

Sometimes your growth threatens another’s ability to stay stuck. That’s why they may lash out, create a drama, project onto you or reject you. Try not to take this personally. Keep going and keep growing, they are on their own path.

 

Have you experienced this?

 

You finally start to get your life together or heal some deep issues that have troubled you for years and instead of being your cheerleaders, your loved ones take it personally and reject you.

 

Sound familiar?

 

When I was younger I was everyone’s agony aunt. Some may say I still am but no, it’s different now. Back then I was at everbody’s beck and call without a thought for how I felt or what I wanted. I lived for others, was a dumping ground for their problems, had poor boundaries, didn’t know how to say to no and was easily manipulated.

Then Mum died and I left my home town. I took off. I was in so much pain I couldn’t cope with anyone else’s stuff coming my way. The relationship dynamics I was used to were now suffocating me. I needed to get away, I needed to breathe and sort myself out.

 

I fell apart. I experienced a breakdown, serious health issues, physical disability but finally through that found Reiki, energy work and my spiritual path of awakening

 

Getting away meant I could finally let go and when I did I fell apart. I experienced a breakdown, serious health issues, physical disability but finally through that found Reiki, energy work and my spiritual path of awakening. I spent the next 2 years healing, studying with amazing spiritual teachers, learning meditation, Yoga, transformational breathwork, co-counselling, you name it. I was transformed, reborn and I felt better than I ever had.

Then one day I felt a calling in my heart to return to my home town to be near my family and old friends.

This is when it all went pear-shaped.

 

I was over the moon to be finally be free of my old unhealthy patterns and to be functioning as my best self, living my purpose and I thought those that loved me would celebrate with me.

I was wrong.

Almost as soon as I returned home one of my oldest friends started acting out, taking all the positive changes in me as some kind of personal affront. I was under attack and was devastated.

 

I realised that she saw my changing as a rejection of her

 

I realised that she saw my changing as a rejection of her, who we’d been together (our friendship ‘culture’) and a judgement of how she was living (that wasn’t even remotely in my heart and mind).

 

So why would someone who I thought loved me not want me to grow and be happy?

Because she felt rejected, as if I had moved on in some way and was no longer validating her choices by making the same ones.

Because we were no longer on the same wavelength (or resonant vibrationally).

Because I was awake and she was happy sleeping and didn’t want her way of life threatened.

Because I had always been a source of energy for her but was no longer running that programme, giving her my energy or enabling her unhealthy patterns.

Because seeing me grow meant she had to acknowledge the areas where she wasn’t growing.

 

Can you relate to any of this in your own lives my friends? Let me know. Please leave a comment below, I’d love to hear your experiences.

 

I tried to work through these issues with my friend and to be in her life but the dissonance kept causing conflict. She kept sabotaging the friendship, letting me down, hurting me and pushing me away until I had to finally say “no more”. Even then she kept wanting to pull me back in only to sabotage it all again. She was utterly unconscious of how much pain she caused. And so I walked away and we are no longer in each other’s lives.

 

It was a tough process to complete because there was a deep soul lesson in it for both of us and until I stood fully in my power and until she was ready to let go we couldn’t move on. It wasn’t an easy resolution by any means.

 

Sometimes your growth threatens another’s ability to stay stuck. That’s why they may lash out, create a drama, project onto you or reject you. Try not to take this personally. Keep going and keep growing, they are on their own path.

 

I take my own advice on this one and just keep going and keep growing. More people have fallen by the wayside along my path since then which is sometimes heart-breaking and sometimes it just feels OK, part of the process. I’m not growing and surging forward because I’m ambitious or seeking some future success, rather I’m following my heart and am led every day by the powerful force of my soul’s guidance.

 

Believe me, if Kimberley the personality had her own way then I’d have a stable family group, the same solid friends around me for life, live in the same place for many years to build familiarity and security, have regular income, a steady and safe routine and lifestyle that didn’t rock the boat or my health.

 

But the thing is I am not my personality. My personality and ego are no longer in the driving seat, my soul is. And so no matter how much ‘I’ Kimberley and my inner child may long for those safe and predictable things my life keeps leading me and growing me somewhere else. A conscious soul path is a path of constant change.

I’ve learned the hard way that it’s best for me to just let go and go with the flow and breathe through the changes inside and out.

 

Can you relate to what I’ve shared? I’d love to hear your experiences.  Please comment below.

‘When loved ones take your growth personally’ http://bit.ly/HTRA8S  By Kimberley Jones @SHIFTandSHINE #AWAKENINGWOMEN 
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We share our stories to remind ourselves and each other that we are not alone.

We are awakening together.

Lots of love,

kim signature copy

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “When loved ones take your growth personally”

  1. Hi Maggie,
    Aw that’s great, I’m so happy it helped and thank YOU for stopping by and for reading my posts!
    Lots of love,
    Kimberley ♥

  2. Hi Kimberley, I SO needed to read this today. Your timing is always perfect. Thank you for reminding us that we’re not alone when we go through the same/a similar thing. Love!

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